I’m 34w5d today.
And I’m done. I’m cranky and stiff and my crotch hurts.
It’s crossed my mind fairly often that since this is the last time I’ll ever be pregnant (THE LAST! WE’RE DONE!!! Sorry, mom) that I should try to enjoy it. But I just do not enjoy pregnancy. This one has been so much easier than with Miles, but I still don’t really like it.
I also want to point out that it’s not lost on me how freakin’ fortunate we are that we got pregnant as soon as we wanted to and I’ve been able to carry both to term without any complications. I’m almost embarrassed by how fast we got pregnant both times. And I do NOT take it for granted. It’s seriously very humbling.
I feel like Remy’s impending arrival has a whole new slew of anxieties because I also have my sweet Miles to think about. He’s SO excited, but I’m sure he doesn’t have any idea about how his little life is about to change. I find myself grieving for him and myself. Torn between sucking up all the time I can with my precious first born and also getting ready and excited for Remy to come complete our family. Miles has never not had our total, undivided attention. And I can’t imagine having another little person around that’s just as important as he is to me.
I got him potty trained (minus nighttime) just in time for him to regress when Remy gets here. I hear that’s common anyway. And he is, as my therapist said, a “challenging kid.” I guess another word would be “spirited.” When he’s in a good mood, he’s so funny and smart and adorable. But when the switch flips, it’s purgatory. He’s a little ticking time bomb. But he gives the sweetest hugs and slobberiest kisses. He’s SO friendly and loves making new friends. And when other kids aren’t friendly back, it seriously breaks my heart. Sometimes I think he’s too sweet for this mean, old world.
Basically, I’m a hormone casserole who’s torn between WANTING THIS BABY OUT NOW and wanting just a little bit more time with Miles as my only child. Might be singing a different tune if Remy decides to stay holed up in there until August. I’ll go in there with pliers and a flashlight and get him myself.